The Day After Remembering 9/11

Yesterday, like for many people, was a day to remember the lives lost on 9/11 twelve years ago.  A few days prior to this, I had been feeling a little out of sorts.  It was a mixture of grouchy for no apparent reason sprinkled with apprehension and sadness.  I was aware that the anniversary of 9/11 was approaching, but had not yet connected it to what I was experiencing.  I figured I might just be PMSing again.  Yesterday, a Wednesday, started off cloudy and a little chilly.  I walked Sebastien to school under my pink umbrella as rain poured from the heavens.  The city was literally blanketed in tears of commemorative mourning. 

There were several children dropped off by their parents far from the building and without umbrellas or other protective rain gear.  I was annoyed and sad that these little ones had to get soaked on their way to class.  In reality, I'm sure they were fine.  Children won't melt in the rain.  I have anecdotal proof of this from times I have allowed my own children to romp in the rain.  However, on the anniversary of one of the worst days in our nation's history, I was a bit sensitive and overprotective of everyone..even if they were not my children.

I received a few visual reminders that touched my heart and allowed me to understand how anniversary dates can impact our lives.  I woke up, prepared for my day, made sure the children were ready for school, 

and  took my children to school the same way as every other day.  But when I dropped off Isabella at Middle School, I saw the flag flying at half-mast and had an immediate physical and emotional reaction.  My stomach felt like I had been punched in the gut and I had to catch my breath.  I had an increase in heart rate and began to feel a lump in my throat.  I wanted to breathe, but knew that as soon as I did it would be necessary to release the tears that threatened to consume me.

Reminders were on news channels, radio talk shows, and documentaries throughout the day.  I saw three men holding up the American flag as they paraded across the crosswalks at two major streets in our area:  Academy and Galley in Colorado Springs.  On the corner of one street they had posted a USA sign in Red/White/Blue lettering with 9/11 date and the number of lives lost that day.  The opposite side of the crosswalk housed a sign with large USA lettering in Red/White/Blue that leaned against the crossing light pole.  Those gentlemen were there ALL DAY! 

Many cars honked and waved to them to acknowledge their tribute.  I again got a lump in my throat and felt tears begin to course down my cheek.  I didn't care if anyone noticed, because I knew everyone would understand.  There were many strangers I passed on the road yesterday, yet we all had one thing in common.  We all knew what those men represented, why they felt a need to be there all day, and how much we appreciated those few moments of solidarity.  It was a tremendous opportunity to reflect on what had been lost that day and the things for which we can still give thanks.

9/11 was significant for me because it was shortly after that my husband and I decided to start our family.  That day was a strong reminder that you cannot put things off forever and that life is precious. Our daughter Isabella Soleil was born almost 10 months after that historic moment.  I don't think anyone will ever stop feeling emotional about 9/11.  Every year we will continue to think about where we were that day, how it impacted our future decisions, and what we hope to accomplish in our life as the result of those heroic individuals who ran to assist in the aftermath of the crisis.  Their legacy of inspiration will live on forever.

So as you go about this "day after" remembering 9/11, I hope that you too will gain strength and inspiration to meet the challenges that happen in your life.  Anniversaries are a good time to reflect, remember, and reinvent who you are and want to become.  And if you have to have a good cry to release all those emotions that you tend to bury throughout the year, then let it happen.  You're not alone.

 

Growing Up - To My Children and All the Children of My Family and Friends

Originally published September 6, 2013

Growing Up

You are growing up

faster than I am ready to accept.

Everyone told me

to enjoy every moment of your

cries, laughs, hugs, and milestones.

They were right!

Time went by so quickly.

So many challenges we have faced.

Now we don't always agree and

many times we argue our points.

We both want to be right.

There are still plenty of tears and laughter

yet to be experienced together.

I want you to understand

that no matter what happens

or where life takes you...

I will always care about you and love you.

I will always be your safe home base

with plenty of warm hugs.

I promise to be your place of return

when life becomes harsh and unforgiving.

I know you will be awesome.

I am proud of who you are becoming.

You still have challenges to face

as you continue to grow up.

Please realize I am here for you.

Always!



Birthday Cake - A Life Lesson

It was the best of cakes.  It was the worst of cakes.  It smelled and tasted wonderful but looked like an unholy nightmare.  But in the end, my son had an awesome birthday and a cake that made him happy.  Creating the Birthday Cake also resulted in some interesting life lessons for me. 

Yesterday was a blur of activities that culminated in servings of birthday cake for my 6-Year-Old's celebration.  The process of creating the cake is what I want to share with you.  First of all, I am not a cake decorator by any means.  My mother was the cake angel when it came to birthday celebrations (and an assortment of other special events.)  My sisters Nancy and Joy inherited the creative genes when it comes to confectionery delights.  Cake baking and the subsequent artistic requirements of frosting are far removed from my repertoire of motherly skills.  Here's what happened...

Yesterday began with my usual chauffeuring duties of getting everyone to work and school.  Nathan had another doctor's appointment to check his blood pressure.  Once again, it was high.  More medication was added to his regimen.  I wondered if there would be time to swing by the store to pick up the items needed for cake baking.  Nathan said, "We can do this mom. Let's go."  So, we raced into the store and purchased everything needed to bake, frost, and decorate a cake for Sebastien.  Everything was loaded into the car with just enough time left to get to Sebastien's school.

Sebastien had asked me to have lunch with him and bring cupcakes for his classroom.  So, Nathan and I arrived just in time to share this special moment with Sebie.  We ate lunch together, watched him play during recess, and then returned to his classroom to distribute miniature (store bought) cupcakes.  By the way, it's a good idea to take a container of wipes to help clean frosted faces and desktops. We departed from school and returned home.  Just enough time to bake the cake before returning to school to pick up Sebastien.

Now, I'd like to say that the warm weather or the altitude played into the cake fiasco that followed.  However, I must accept full responsibility.  First of all, I used two boxes of cake mix that carried two different sets of directions.  I didn't realize that one box requested oil and the other seven tablespoons of butter.  Adjustments had to be made given our time constraints.  I planned to use part of the cake mix to create a separate smaller cake.  This would get cut it into the shape of Thor's Hammer and sit on top of the larger base.  (It's all about the superheroes right now.)   After considerable adjustments to the oven and careful timing of the cake, two pans with beautiful Golden Butter Cake emerged that looked and smelled wonderful. I was hopeful.

We left to pick up Sebastien from school.  He entered the car with a happy, content smile as he excitedly told me he couldn't wait for tonight's celebration.  The boys and I proceeded to our next destination and picked up their dad.  Both children were asleep by the time I got to his work and continued to sleep after I dropped him off at home.  Next stop:  Middle School to pick up Isabella.  She too looked like it had been a good day for her.  We returned home and I began to work on the cake, which had time to cool off.  I set up my supplies and began to turn the pan over onto another larger sheet cake pan.  It gave me plenty of room to work my "magic." 

Then... disaster struck.  Part of the cake stuck to the pan.  (Yes, I had properly sprayed it to prevent sticking...but forgot to dust it with flour as well.)  I could have stopped there and just iced the large cake.  But I went ahead and figured out how to cut layers as I had planned.  Using a strand of unwaxed dental floss, I was able to create a nice division of the fragile cake.  (Keep a roll of floss in your kitchen just for cooking purposes.  It works great.)  I had to then piece together a puzzle of cake layers using a mixture of melted strawberry jam and frosting.  It took lots of patience, but I finally managed to get that thing together...all three layers. 

My main problem now:  What to do about Thor's Hammer.  The layer I had planned to use for the Hammer was needed to add an extra layer to the cake and hold everything in place.  I created a template in the shape of the hammer and called my brother who was on his way over for dinner.  "Do you have any sprinkles or food coloring?"  He didn't but managed to find sprinkles at a store.  We added the sprinkles in the template then removed it to reveal..."Thor's Hammer!"  Uncle Nicholas had also brought small superhero figures which we added.  And the cake was complete!  We put it into the fridge to set while we went to dinner.

When we arrived home, it was present time.  I removed the cake from the refrigerator and let it sit for a while to reach room temperature.  Then I offered everyone a slice of cake.  It was delicious.  The layers looked nice and didn't fall apart.  It wasn't the most beautiful cake.  It wouldn't win any prizes on the "Cake Boss" or allow me to have my own show on "Food Network."  But Sebastien was happy and content with his mommy's efforts, and that's good enough for me. 

Life Lessons by Cake:

1. It's ok it you have to make adjustments to original plans.  It allows you to demonstrate another type of creativity as you are problem solving.
2. It's never a good idea to compare yourself to someone else.  Everyone has different skills and abilities, so give yourself a break.
3. It's ok if your product is not picture perfect. 
4. Making the effort is part of the gift you give of yourself.
5. It's a great feeling of accomplishment when you finish a project that has been a challenge.

Have a Wonderful Long Weekend and Enjoy some Cake

Get 'em in bed - "Catholic Style"

Apologies if this blog title mislead you in any way.  Let me reassure you that my subject matter is pure, virtuous, and completely appropriate for public viewing.   I wanted to find a way to share my technique for getting my children to bed last night.  Bedtime is an on going dilemma that necessitates  a dramatic approach at times.  Last night was no exception.  My two boys do not like sharing a room and have very different activity levels and sleep habits. Nathan, age 8, is willing to go to bed on his own when he becomes tired.  He has a moderate level of energy compared with his more active sibling.  Sebastien, age 6 (as of Friday), is much more animated.  He would be perfectly happy to bounce, do back flips off the mattress, and complete wall climbing flips that rival that of Jackie Chan's maneuvers during Rush Hour.  Sebastien has a hard time settling down and has been known to stay awake until well after 10:00 P.M. 

Last night I made sure Sebastien had a relaxing bath and story time prior to bedtime.  I began my prompts well before 8:30 so he had the appropriate "sensory cues" needed to begin his descent into dream land. We proceeded to the bedroom where night time prayers were said, little faces were kissed, bodies were reluctantly tucked in for the night under covers, and lights were turned off.  That's when the "Resistance" emerged.  Giggles, tumbles, rolling over, and verbal exchanges between the brothers ensued.  I could feel my frustration bubble to the surface.  I really wasn't in the mood for confrontation yet again.  So...I reverted to a favorite technique.  Prayer!

Whenever I am stressed, I fall back on what is familiar and comfortable.  I learned it at home as a child and it was reinforced during my years at Catholic School.  I began to say the Rosary.   "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee."  I started in my normal voice so that they could hear what I was doing.  Nathan giggled, "Mommy's saying the Hail Mary again."  Sebastien continued to attempt his own version of entertainment.  I ignored his distractions.  By the second decade of "Hail Mary's" followed by "Glory Be"  and then an "Our Father" to start it all over again, the boys said, "Please mommy...stop praying."

I calmly advised the boys that I planned to keep reciting my prayers until they settled down and were quiet. As I continued to pray, I adjusted my rate of speech and began to lower my voice.  By the fourth decade I was at a whisper.  My soft, meditative "Ring around the Rosary" continued as I ignored any movement or comments from my sons.  I decided to recite every prayer I could think of that I had memorized from Catholic School.  Before long, I realized that Sebastien had fallen asleep with his tiny arm wrapped around my arm.  I heard a deep sigh follow by what sounded like a loud snore. I looked over at his brother and saw that Nathan had also succumbed to my litany of sleep routine.

Since my years at Catholic School I have had the opportunity to learn about "free-style" prayers.  I love the opportunity to feel as if I can talk to God more directly.  I also appreciate the value and importance of the more "repetitive" prayers that were memorized from childhood.  In times of stress, the repetition can be a source of comfort and allows you to meditate in a different way.  I am encouraging my children to explore both methods in an effort to help them learn how to cope with the many challenges they will face in life.  Learning to get to bed on time is only one of many.

So that's how I got my children to go to bed and fall asleep "Catholic Style."
Information on How to Pray the Rosary:
http://www.catholic.org/prayers/rosary.php

Another answer to "Why Did I End Up Here?"

So many times I wonder why things happen the way they do.  This summer was one I will always remember.  My previous blog entries explained how I took a vacation and ended up relocating to another state.  The series of unplanned and unpredictable circumstances left me feeling confused at times.  I had to push away moments of self-doubt and feelings of guilt that I had disappointed my family.  Challenges have a way of doing that to a person.  Here's what I hope to share with you today...

There is usually a plan and reasons behind unexplained detours.  In time, the reasons are revealed and the answers to , "Why did I end up here?" are clarified.  Last Wednesday was my time to have some of those questions answered.  I can't begin to tell you how relieved and grateful I am that God had a bigger plan in mind for my family than I could have ever imagined.

All of my children have had problems with asthma.  Last year my son Nathan struggled the most with asthma related symptoms.  He frequently needed to use inhalers and a nebulizer when his breathing was affected.  Often, he experienced facial swelling and fevers that prompted several visits to the Emergency Room.  Each time, he was given breathing treatments and Prednisone, a steroid, to treat his symptoms.  His Pediatrician reassured me that the swelling resulted from the asthma.  I asked if there could be something else wrong beside the asthma, but was advised that many children have similar symptoms from asthma.  We continued to treat Nathan with Ventolin inhaler as needed, Flovent 2x/daily, and Albuterol via Nebulizer at night when his coughing was severe enough to keep him awake at night.  This went on for over one year.

During our stay in Colorado this summer, the children experienced reduced asthma symptoms.  None of them required Albuterol via Nebulizer. Their need for inhaler treatments significantly decreased.  We only used the inhalers 2-3x all summer.  It was wonderful to have an illness-free summer.  Due to our "spontaneous relocation" requirements, I ended up reapplying for health insurance in Colorado.  I immediately arranged medical appointments for all children since we needed to have a place to transfer medical records from Georgia to Colorado.  The appointments were scheduled just in time.   Nathan was diagnosed with a chronic medical condition that will require on-going monitoring.

A little over one week ago Nathan began to retain fluids that made his face, legs, and stomach swell more than we had ever seen before.  Thankfully, he had an appointment scheduled for last Wednesday.  I told the doctor that our previous Pediatrician had treated his Symptoms as if he only had asthma.  I told her that I felt there was something more going on.  She checked him thoroughly and asked for a urine specimen.  Sure enough, he was spilling proteins and blood into his urine. 

Nathan was diagnosed with  Nephrotic Syndrome www.kidneyfund.org/.../childhood-nephrotic-syndrome.html   which is a type of kidney disease where there is loss of protein in the urine.  When protein is lost from the blood, there is swelling of the face, arms, legs and abdomen as fluids leak into these tissues.  The cause is uncertain.  The doctor told me that taking him to the Emergency Room where he was given Prednisone (a steroid) probably kept him from going into kidney failure.  I wish his previous Pediatrician had been more aware of this disease!  I kept thinking, "What if I hadn't taken him to the ER as often as I did?"  A mother's instinct should always be taken seriously! 

I am relieved to finally have a reason for Nathan's frequent trips to the ER.   I am grateful for all the challenges I faced this summer.  I am appreciative of this opportunity to reorganize, reconnect, and reinvent my family life here in Colorado.  Most of all, I feel blessed that I trusted myself to take care of my family and take a huge leap of faith in remaining here.  I believe I had to be here so that I could establish a better network of medical care for my children...one I had struggled to maintain in Georgia.  (Our health insurance situation there was tenuous at best.)

Nathan's swelling has already decreased since he has been taking the Prednisone. His Pediatrician is also prescribing a medication for high blood pressure and to prevent stomach irritation...side effects of the Prednisone treatment protocol.  Thank God we found a good Pediatrician who identified the problem.  So, if anyone asks why I ended up here....I'll say it had to be part of a bigger plan for our family. 

Update as of 07/08/2016

Nathan has been doing extremely well since his diagnosis three years ago.  His symptoms have been in remission for almost 2 years now, but we continue to have him tested every time he gets a cold or infection.  Thankfully that has been minimal.  He will need to continue being vigilant regarding this condition, but we feel hopeful that things are going well.  That first year of his treatments was challenging, as he required weekly visits to the doctor to check on medications.  

 

Graphic Attributed to:  
http://api.ning.com/files/IxWYiMjDnjq6m4EpvkwAXcNBeq9Su71KPmxE9cuixlOdqWXoWZoUwJwEjZnbzcPM8egN5C3AFVMxyFnmPqLf70l9baMh-bCp/writing.jpg

Blessed - Patience Rewarded

Patience is one of the greatest challenges I face.  I'm sure I'm not the only one.  I struggle with this on a daily basis.  I wish things happened with a little less drama.  I would love to go an entire day without feeling like a drill sergeant with my children.  And I really want to be more tolerant of individuals who refuse to put on their turn signals, cut me off in the parking lot, or insist on smoking near the open door to the laundromat where my just cleaned clothes risk absorbing some of that lovely aroma.  (All three of my children have asthma, so I am especially impatient with running through the gauntlet of smoke.)

Patience is often in short supply.  I have searched high and low to find a warehouse that provides extra, bargain-sized helpings of this commodity.  Alas....there is none to be found.  I even have a hard time finding it at church, if you can believe that.   (My children are known to pick this particular time of the week to test the limits of my motherly love.)  The one place I thought I could regain a little of my love for humanity and revitalize my tired spirit is often the source of further aggravation as my children continuously ask, "Is it almost time to go?  Is mass almost over?  How much longer Mommy?"   I know this stage won't last forever, so I continue to go, pray, and hope life will become a little more relaxed if I keep trying.

Patience.  I search for it, hope for it, and long for it like a person who is directionally challenged dreams of a state of the art Global Positioning System for a long road trip.  (I am actually quite directionally challenged and fond of Map Quest and similar resources.)  So imagine my surprise when I checked my bank account this morning and found that my former employer had indeed decided to pay my vacation time!  I had a great conversation with the owner a couple of weeks ago, and was relieved to clear the air regarding the miscommunication surrounding my vacation pay.  (See three previous blog entries if you missed them.)  I was informed that they had decided to pay my vacation time, but until I saw it posted I didn't want to get my hopes up.  I feel very blessed today. 

Sometimes when things go wrong, it's easy to lose heart and feel discouraged.  It's hard not to take things personally when someone let's you down.  But I am very grateful that I had the conversation with my former employer and maintained professionalism and respect. I still miss the children and colleagues with whom I worked, and hope to maintain contact with them.  It is easier to keep a door open than to rebuild a bridge that had been burned.  It's easy to look for the bad things in life.  There's an abundance.  What is more rewarding is having faith that things will work out if you stay focused, have a kind spirit, and maintain a positive attitude. 

Today I am blessed and believe once again that patience is rewarded....in it's own time. (Not necessarily when you want it to happen.)

Wishing all of you many blessings and rewards for you patience.

Moving Forward - Part III

Where were we?  Oh yes.  My employer chose not to pay my vacation time.  When I called to find out what had happened, I was chastised that I did not verbally inform my employer that I wanted to be paid for my vacation time.  Hmmm.  Did I not complete a leave request form?  Indeed I had.  I also remember telling my employer that I wanted to use whatever vacation time I had left.  Turns out that a discrepancy on the vacation form made it possible for the Director to overlook my request.  She agreed to ask the School Owners to look into the matter.  I trusted that this would be taken care of so that I could return to Georgia in time to begin the new school year. 

Again, I checked my account on the next expected payday and found myself lacking funds.  I once more called my Center Director and was greeted with what amounted to a different type of "pay back."  I was told that ,"Well, Mr. XYZ felt that he didn't need to pay you since you left he and Mrs. XYZ in a bind by leaving.  Additionally, The Infant Room had an increase in enrollments and we had to hire a new Lead Teacher to replace you."  Perhaps a sudden increase had actually occurred in the one week time since I last spoke with her.  However, I was sure that there was something I could have done to help out if only on a part time basis.  I was advised that I was no longer expected to return on the date I had written on my vacation request form.  "We'll call you if we need you." 

There was a deep sense of disappointment that I had been unceremoniously dumped.  If at any time the Center Director had indicated I could not take a leave of absence I would have respected that decision.  If I had known that taking my children to see their dad would result in an inability to receive my earned vacation pay or that I would have no job upon returning to Georgia I surely would have postponed the visit.  Most of all, I felt like I had let everyone down.  I missed the infants and I missed talking with their parents.   I also missed the coworkers I had grown to love.  We had worked so hard together to make sure the Infant Program was one that made us proud.  I felt like all my efforts had been disregarded.

Moving forward is never easy.  It takes a lot of humility and forgiveness to let go of the "What might have beens."  Here's the thing.  It's never good to second guess yourself.  You do the best you can under given circumstances and proceed as planned.  Sure there will be plenty of individuals who disagree with your choices or don't understand your motives.  Can you imagine what life would be like if you felt like you had to justify every action you take, every word you write, and every breath you chose to breathe?  Believe me, it's no way to live!  Although guilt has it's purpose in the the world, an excess amount prevents you from moving forward and living the life God intended for you. 

I am currently in the process of  "moving forward."  I have filed for unemployment while I continue to look for work.  My children will attend school in Colorado Springs for now.  We are gathering birth certificates, applying for medical insurance, and getting the necessary forms completed to begin a chapter in our history I'll call "Return to Colorado."  Perhaps I have unfinished business.  There are worse places I could be "stranded."  Whatever the reason I ended up here, it's now my job to make the best of our adventure and embrace the results.  I can do this!  I've reinvented myself before and I'm quite awesome at creating new environments for my children.  I hope that they will grow to be resilient, accepting, and versatile individuals with a zest for life.  Most of all, I hope my family will understand that I am doing the best I can for my children. 

Planning is still a good idea. I love list making.  But I also know that there needs to be a lot of flexibility built into your thought process.  The strongest tree in the forest is not the one that stands upright, but one that sways and bends in the wind.  (A favorite quote..just can't recall who said it.)  And this ends my vacation story.  I look forward to documenting our new challenges.

  

Consequences and Resolutions - Part II

My five-year-old's recommendation for our trip to the park set into motion a series of events that I never could have foreseen.  There were too many factors involved in what transpired following this visit to believe in simple coincidences.  Something bigger was at work here.  Yes, I ultimately made decisions.  However, if I had known about the consequences, I may have played my cards quite differently.   Sometimes, you just have to take that trip, see those sights, and experiences the sensations that accompany the journey. 

Following my introduction to A. Adams Jones, author and publisher of the debut book "Blind Innocence", I began to realize how pressured the past eighteen months had been.  Once again I had been left to raise three children alone (after a brief attempt by their father to reunite everyone in Atlanta,Georgia), survived a horrific car accident where someone slammed into my car as I was stopped at a red light - pushing me into the car in front of me (thank God the children were not in the car at the time), re-entered the work force as a teacher, lost my apartment and moved into an extended stay hotel, and struggled to deal with some very challenging group dynamics in my classroom. 

One day at work, after another stressful situation arose, I decided that it was time to take a break from all the chaos and  reclaim my spirit.  There is only so much a human can physically and emotionally tolerate before you realize you're headed to the zoo.  I submitted a leave request to my Center Director.  I had hoped that since we had college students returning to help, the room would have adequate coverage in my absence.  I was advised that I may not have the Lead Infant Teacher position available upon my return if enrollments increased, but was assured that something would be available.  I was told, "We are going to honor your request."  Since the Director was also a single mom of three, I felt like she understood I needed to take my children to see their Dad.  They hadn't seen him in eighteen months.  Their behaviors indicated to me that it was time that they went for a visit.

My plan seemed sound.  I spent the first day of my vacation updating Developmental Milestones folders for each child from my classroom.  I organized important forms and other paperwork that the staff would need in my absence.  I left all of my personal resources including books and activities so the infants could continue to enjoy them.   The following day I delivered the files to the school and left numbers where I could be reached.  The vacation pay I expected would be just enough to fund my return trip.  Everything seemed to be set for my road trip too. 

With a well packed car, directions, a map, and snacks, my three children and I set out on our adventure. We crossed five states and drove from Smyrna, Georgia to Colorado Springs, Colorado in two days.  (I have always love to travel.)  This time I did it with three children.  We had a blast!  The visit with their dad went well and I was sure I had done the right thing.  My first hint that all was not well  with my plan came when my bank account failed to show my vacation time had been paid.  Never assume people will do the right thing.  You'd think I would learn after all this time.  Yet I continue to trust, believe, and see the good in people.  Sometimes to my detriment .  This turned out to be one of those times.  Next Posting...

Moving Forward - Part III         

Spontaneous Moments & Unexpected Consequences Part I

I am once again in a situation where I need to be reminded of all the wonderful, unexpected moments that occur in my life.  These moments of inspiration allow me to grab a rope as I dangle from a precipice so I can pull myself up.  First a little back story:  Two months ago, I announced to my three children that we would go to the park.  It was a Saturday.  My plan was to take them to the playground so they could burn off some excess energy .  My five-year-old, Sebastien, excitedly told me, "Mommy, let's go to that big park by Walmart."  I hadn't thought about going to Tremore Park, but something told me that we should go there. 

I had originally thought we could go to Rhyne Park, closer to home near their school.  It was not meant to happen.  So even as storm clouds threatened to release their burden upon us, I ushered my three pumpkin-headed monkeys (a term of endearment I coined just for them) into our mini-van and proceeded toward our destination.   Minutes later, we pulled into a parking space and I released my little wild ones onto an unsuspecting playground.  Several other parents had the same idea.  We all hoped the rain would wait while the children unleashed their pent up energies. 

As I watched my "free-range" kinder dash from climbing walls to swings to monkey bars, I noticed that the nearby covered picnic pavilion was buzzing with activity.  It looked like a family had reserved the space for a celebration - a birthday perhaps.  Several adults made a path from their cars to the pavilion with large, covered aluminum pans filled with food.  A grill was started and soon the aroma of cooked burgers and hot dogs filled the air.  Someone decorated the pavilion with balloons and posters.   My stomach grumbled.

In my haste to get the children to the park, I had forgotten to eat.  I could handle that.  What I feared was that the heavenly scent of fresh-grilled meat would reach my always-ready-for-more-food children and the whining would ensue.  I held my breath and waited for the moment one of them would come to me and begin the litany of "Mommy I want a Happy Meal, I am hungry, I need something to eat, etc..."  Usually this was released in the style of a Gregorian Chant - only more annoying and much less relaxing.  Anyone who is on a tight budget can attest to the fact that there is nothing happy about a "Happy Meal."  It's way too expensive, not very nutritious, and the toys are usually a starting point for terrific arguments.

Turns out I didn't have to wait very long before one of the kids asked when we could get something to eat.  The drizzle of rain and the requests were simultaneous.  I decided that we'd wait a few minutes since my children wouldn't melt or waste away anytime soon.  During my wait, a young man from the picnic pavilion walked over to me and handed me a post card style invitation.  That buzz of activity wasn't a birthday party.  It was a Book Signing for New Author and Publisher A. Adams Jones for her book "Blind Innocence."  The gentleman invited me and others on the playground to attend the book signing and enjoy free food.  Wow.  I had a choice to make.  Should I go ahead and  meet the author?

I had no money with me that day.  We were between paydays and I needed to take the kids home to cook dinner.  The rain was beginning to come down with more intensity.  I waited to see if anyone else would go first.  But nobody stepped forward.  I am not the most outgoing individual, but I do have three very entertaining and confident children who often "force" me out of my comfort zone to do the unthinkable.  And there was that opportunity to feed them right there.  I took a leap of faith and walked over to the author and introduced myself and my three children.  I learned that her book was based on a true story and I found myself drawn to her kind spirit as we spoke.

A.Adams Jones took time to talk to me and to my children as a videographer documented this stop in her book signing tour.  For some reason, it touched my heart and gave me hope that I too could write about my experiences in a way that might encourage people and help them through rough times in their lives.  She was encouraging and even gave me a signed copy of her book with an offer to call her if I ever needed to talk or pray.  I was especially grateful for the book since I had no funds with me at the time.  My children were so comfortable around everyone that they ended up making friends, eating well, and having another great family moment to add to their history.

That day was significant in many ways.  It jump started my interest in writing about my own trials as I struggle to raise my little family, forgive past transgressions, and move forward spiritually, emotionally, and in my career choices.  I never could have foreseen how that day would impact future decisions. My "inspirations" ultimately caused me to lose my job and end up stranded in another state with my three children.  Yet I am convinced there was a purpose behind the events on that day.  Next posting...Consequences and Resolutions.  You don't want to miss this one!

 UPDATE:  May 26,2016

In honor of the author who inspired so many changes in my life three years ago...here's a re-post from 2013 PLUS links to this author's books and video synopsis.

 

 https://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&type=C111US0D20160118&p=Blind+Innocence+by+AA+Jones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym4Jrwo7LjM

 

 

Ten minutes and Twelve dollars - A bargain for relaxation.

My nine-year old daughter has been asking for a "Momma - Isabella" day.  So last Saturday we agreed to take a trip to the mall.  I had a specific budget in mind for us to make sure we didn't go too crazy.  (It's been a long time since I've stepped into a mall.) We enjoyed breakfast together at Chick-fil-A then embarked on our journey.  Isabella had a plan to look at clothing at Crazy 8, hit the Bath and Body Works Shop, and check out the assortment of fragrances at the Macy's counter.  Anything else that looked interesting was also fair game.  Our trip would involve stopping for lunch at some point and end with browsing through Barnes and Noble.  I never anticipated that my greatest find of the day would come from a make shift "spa" set up in a nook next to the walk way.

As Isabella and I walked toward the Crazy 8 Clothing Shop, a gentleman invited us to have a "free sample" chair massage.  Well, I knew that this tactic was designed to encourage customers to book appointments for other spa treatments.  However, my aching back and tight neck muscles decided for me.  I agreed to the "sample" massage.  One word:  Awesome!  At the end of this 5 minute sample, I was shown a card indicating the prices for additional minutes.  Questions were not possible...as I did not speak the language of my masseuse and he did not speak English. I politely thanked the gentleman and told him I may return later.  Another gentleman who was rounding up future customers gave me a stern look and absolutely no smile. I'm sure he hoped I would purchase a spa treatment.

Well, Isabella and I continued with our trip.  She found two great t-shirts on sale ($2.99 and $4.99) that I agreed fit into our budget.  After our purchase, I told Isabella, "Let's go back to that chair massage area.  I'm going to go ahead and get the ten minute treatment."  Isabella looked at me as if I had three heads, but respectfully followed me back to the little nook where two other customers were already enjoying complete relaxation.  I handed the masseuse $12.00 and positioned myself in the massage chair.  What followed was the most amazing, yet sometimes exhausting, deep tissue massage.  I had knots and tight muscles that screamed defiantly and dared the masseuse to banish them forever.  They were "knotty" little buggers that held tight.  I willed them away. 

I worried that my time would be over too soon and I would be left uneven.  (O.K.  Here's a little OCD coming out.  But you know what I mean.) However no worries were necessary.  Ten minutes is a long time when your muscles are being worked out.  The massage was one of the most perfectly choreographed sessions I have ever encountered.   At the end of the message, the masseuse ran his hand down my spine and I felt every vertebra release.  I was stretched through gentle range of motion and I breathed contentedly. 

I thanked the masseuse and was astonished that I felt better already.  I knew I was aching and had knotted up muscles, but I didn't realize how much I needed to relax.  It was a physical reminder of how often moms avoid taking care of themselves.  Everyone needs to take time to enjoy a few moments of peace where the tension can melt away.  And for me it just happened to arrive in the form of a non-English speaking masseuse who was advertising his spa business in the midst of a busy mall.  I enjoyed every minute!

Take care of yourselves, and never be afraid to try something different.  Being fearless can have it's rewards!
And for goodness sakes, be kind to each other.  We're all struggling in some way, shape or form. 

Vacationing in the "ER"

Yesterday I received a call from my daughter Isabella's school nurse.  Bella had fallen off the jungle gym on the playground and had hurt her right arm.  (She is right handed.)  My otherwise active fourth grader waited for me in the clinic with a bag of ice on the injured limb.  The nurse reassured me that it was not swollen, but my daughter remained in a lot of pain.  Since it was so close to the end of the school day, I also asked that my first grade son be released from school so we could all leave together. 

I had already planned to drop off my four-year-old last night to stay with his Grandparents so I could take care of business matters today.  Thank goodness for my parents!  The last visit to the ER with Sebastien resulted in Momma almost getting admitted herself for stress related trauma.  It's hard for four-year-olds to wait in an ER.  Every piece of medical equipement has potential to become a climbing aparatus, slide, tumbling mat, and overall dangerous activity where Sebastien is concerned.  I did not relish the idea of adding him to the evening list of patients at the Children's Health Care of Atlanta clinic where he would surely run into something and become incapacitated.

We arrived at the clinic after safely depositing Sebie with his Granparents.  Actually, I had to follow my mother to the clinic located close to her home...yet not close enough for me to grasp the twists and turns for the short cut.  I tend to be a bit directionally challenged, especially under stressful circumstances.  When we arrived at the clinic, I was pleasantly surprised by the professional and caring attitude of each person we encountered.  Everyone introduced herself by name and explained what we could expect during our visit.  A dry erase board at the front desk informed us about the possible length of wait before we would be seen.  I was relieved that I followed my mother's advice to take my daughter to Children's Health Care of Atlanta.

Here's the funny part of this unexpected trip.  My six-year-old son, Nathan, insisted upon going with us even when I warned him of the wait time.  "Wouldn't you have more fun going to Grandma's and Grandpa's house to wait for us?  Dinner is almost ready there and you can play afterward."  I thought, "Maybe this is his way of being a concerned brother, and he wants to be there for his sister."  Well, maybe there was some smidgen of truth to my analysis.  However, I soon realized other motives were at work here.

As I sat at the financial intake worker's desk, I looked behind me to see my son and six to seven other children circled around two vending machines; one with sodas and the other with a lovely assortment of snacks a.k.a junk food with no redeeming nutritional qualities whatsoever.  They looked up at these machines as if they held the holy grail.  I am not exaggerating this time!  The amount of times my son looked at me longingly and begged for change equalled what happens right before Christmas and his birthday.  Even after we were ushered into our cubicle to wait for the doctor Nathan continued to speak about the vending machines and how impressive they were.

I admitted to my son that I remember feeling the same way when I was a child.  However, there was perfectly good, healthy food waiting for us at his Grandparents house as soon as we were released.  Isabella received medication for her pain and was rewarded with a popsicle to dull the nasty taste of the liquid.  Her brother was also given a popsicle, which endeared these wonderful nurses to me.  The potential for a meltdown could have been quite catastrophic given how much Nathan loves popsicles.  Isabella had several x-rays done.  Evaluations revealed no broken bones (Thank Goodness).  A splint was applied along with a sling and we were ready to go.

Upon checking out with front desk to settle our bill, I realized that even a trip to the ER be an adventure for children.  And when I handed over my card to pay for the trip, it was indeed like paying for a small vacation.  At least, that's how I'm going to look at it.  Thank You to Children's Health Care of Atlanta for treating us so well.  (And for giving this Momma a 48% discount for paying up front.) 

I'm sure this won't be the last visit to an ER, but for my part I would love to wait as long as possible to save up for our next trip.

Many blessing to all of you.  Please sign up to follow my blog and take care.

Remembering Isabella's Teacher d. 02/01/2011

My daughter Isabella was in third grade last year when her teacher unexpectedly passed away.  I was in the car driving to work when I received the call from the school principal.  Like everyone who received the call that day, I was in shock.  I barely made it to work to drop off my three-year-old at the school where I was a teacher.  Thankfully, my Director and colleagues were very understanding when I explained that I needed to be with my child when she and her classmates were informed of the news.  The counselors were present as the principal explained what happened to the children.  It was devastating to everyone.  I held my daughter and waited for it to sink in...her beloved teacher was gone forever.

I took my daughter home after the announcement was made as did most of the parents present.  I held her and let her cry as we talked about her teacher.  We went to the memorial service a few days later.  She met the teacher's family and I was especially moved when the mother gently took Isabella's hand and asked her how she was doing.  What a loving thing to do for my child even in the midst of her own grief!  Isabella had taken a single white rose with a light green ribbon (her teacher's favorite color) and an "Angel for Teachers" pin. She laid her memorial on a table next to other tributes amidst pictures of a vibrant, smiling "Shea."

This past weekend I found my child sobbing in her room.  She reminded me that it had been almost a year since her teacher died.  I told her I had been thinking about the same thing.  I gave her a big hug and reassured her that it's OK to cry, and it's OK to think about loved ones we miss who have passed away.  Both of us will forever remember that moment when Isabella's world and life experiences changed.  We cannot shield our children from realities of  life or death.  The best we can do is be there for them to reassure,give hugs,and let them know they can make it through all their challenges.

In honor of Isabella's teacher, known as Shea, I would like to share what was printed on the inside of her memorial service program.

The things Shea believed in:

There are 3 values: feel good, be good, and do good.

Truth is everlasting.

The trust that others place in you is grace.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.

Learn to be noble, courteous and committed.

Where there is love, there is no question.

Serve humanity so that people feel we are kind to them.

Happiness is nothing but total relaxation.

Whatever you are, you are. Be proud of it.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

May your mind learn to love with compassion.

Nature is a giver, a true friend, a sustainer.

The greatest tool you have is to listen.

The beauty of life is to experience yourself.

Learn to be noble, courteous, and committed.

When the mind is backed by will, miracles will happen .

Thank You, Ms. Shea, for making a difference in my daughter's life.

Making Lists,Conversation Starters,& Creating Memories with Your Children

Writing is a wonderful way to connect with your children.  I found that my three enjoy comparing favorite activities, movies, and songs that I liked at their ages.  Here is one way to start your own list making activity.  You can design your own format.  It's never too late to start your own family journal project. 

List of Family Members
Child's Name:
Mom:
Dad:
Grandparents

Ask each one to list...
Favorite Outdoor Activities at age ____
1.
2.
3.
Favorite Indoor Activities
1.
2.
3.
Favorite Board Games
1.
2.
3.
Favorite Songs
1.
2.
3.
Favorite Movies
1.
2.
3.

You can decide how you want to record these moments. 

1. A Family Journal or Binder where you can add pages.

2. Each child can have an Individual Journal .

3. Produce your own Video Journal.

Whatever your choice, have fun with this project.  Hopefully you enjoy the conversations that arise and create lasting memories with your children.  Lists are great because they can be short and simple.  Have a wonderful week everyone! 

Thoughts for Thursday - Writing with My Children

Writing has always been more than a way of communicating for me.  It's been as necessary as oxygen...breathing life into me when I needed to be revived.  As a child I remember making marks in one of my books even before I could write letters.  When I finally realized how letters were connected to words to make  sentences, I knew I was on to something excellent.  As I see my children learn to read and write and comprehend the nuances of language, I am reminded how important it is to encourage their appreciation for the written word. 

My children have had journals from the time they could hold a crayon.  I have saved most of these journals so I can see the progression of thoughts from pictures to letters to words.  I love that we can share this love of writing and reading.  It has become natural for them to pick up their journals or find whatever paper is available to write and draw.  This skill has provided an outlet for us to create dreams, make lists, draw fantastic creatures, and tell amazing stories.  We also write notes to each other when speaking becomes too dramatic for verbal expressions. 

There have been times when I have needed to send one or more of the children to their rooms to calm down.  It's not uncommon to find that a note has been slipped outside their door to let me know they have thought about their actions and are ready to talk.  Their notes have also told me when they are feeling sad, upset about something at school, or concerned about a situation.  I have also written notes back to them.  This technique gives everyone the chance to think through feelings and prepare to discuss whatever needs to be addressed. 

My goal for this year is to continue to put my own thoughts in writing and encourage my children to do the same.  Even list making counts!   My next post will include suggestions for how list making can become a fun creative writing activity.  It's simple, quick, and provides great story starter ideas!  I hope my children will enjoy the project too.

Have a wonderful weekend.  My next visit to the library will hopefully be on Monday. 

A New Year and a Great Time to Recommit to Writing!

Getting through the Holidays was a challenge.  It was greatly enhanced by the loving kindness of several individuals who proved to be the greatest of heroes to my children and to the entire family.  Our year in 2011 was pretty stressful, but no more than other individuals who were faced with similar circumstances.  We weathered frequent job changes, financial struggles, and a serious car accident that involved our vehicle getting totalled and me ending up with medical expenses and therapy to heal the damage.   Through it all I found great comfort as I read my Face Book page. (I know...I should have gone immediately to my Bible as well, but that came later.  See...good old fashioned Catholic confession at work here:)  Kind words were offered and I realized how much other friends and family members were dealing with in their own lives.

I am usually a fairly optimistic individual and rely on my faith to get me through hardships.  I have to admit that this time around it was especially trying and I found myself feeling angry and hopeless.  So I prayed harder... even when I didn't think it was possible to pray any more.  Right before Thanksgiving I received a call from my daughter's 4th grade teacher.  She informed me that our name had been selected to receive a Thanksgiving basket.  She explained that each year one student's family gave a basket to another family.  The teacher put each child's name in a hat and drew my daughter's name.  I nearly cried. 

The phone call came at a perfect time as I was becoming quite "creative" with my meal planning.  I arranged to pick up the gift.  It was a very humbling experience to enter the classroom that day.  I gave the teacher a hug and expressed my gratitude.  I returned home and unpacked the bounty of groceries.  An envelope was inside one of the bags of food.  I opened the envelope to find a wonderful Thanksgiving card from the family.  When I opened the card, a Publix (grocery store) gift card was inside.  I was overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of some one's generosity in our time of need.  I immediately sat down to write Thank You notes for the family and the teacher.  I gave them to my daughter to return the next day.

December brought concerns about how we would handle Christmas this year.  I knew that the children's grandparents would have gifts for them.  However, as each child recited their list of wishes,  I grew more and more anxious.  I was very honest with my children that things were financially tight, and that I could not guarantee much of their requests.  We talked about family togetherness and I promised that we would still keep our yearly tradition of making cut -out sugar cookies for Santa.  We discussed the true meaning of Christmas and how much fun they would have playing with their cousins at Grandma's and Grandpa's house.  I also held them and explained that I was looking forward to attending the Children's Christmas Eve Mass with them at our church.  They were amazingly understanding and immediately started thinking about what they could make for each other and other family members.

Let's face it...Kids are Kids and they looked forward to those shiny, wrapped presents under the tree and stockings filled with Dollar Tree Treasures.  They also hoped to offer something to each other and their family members.  Shortly after the Thanksgiving Break, my daughter came home and presented me with an envelope and a smile on her face.  I opened the envelope and read the enclosed letter.  My child had been selected to participate in the "Shop with a Hero" day.   I was asked to complete a "Wish List" that included their sizes, most urgent needs, and fun items if available.  When I sat down to check my son's homework folder, I discovered that he also had a letter.  Appreciation and relief enveloped me.

I listed the children's most urgent needs first.  They had grown since the beginning of school and were in need of pants, winter shirts, shoes, socks, and underwear.  My daughter also desperately needed a winter coat.   I explained the process of  how their shopping trip would mostly go toward clothing and maybe a fun item if possible.  They were overjoyed and very appreciative.  We returned the wish lists and excitedly waited for their shopping day.  The school counselors were excellent as they responded to my concerns regarding supervision of the children for the shopping day.  I received a letter notifying me that my children would be transported by a uniformed driver, accompanied by the counselors, and provided with supervision throughout the day.  A school counselor even called me the day of the trip to make sure I was aware of the activities and comfortable with the trip.  I assured her that I appreciated the call.

I picked the children up from school that day and was greeted by the counselors.  They helped load two huge bags of gifts into our vehicle.  I was amazed at the amount they allowed each child to select.  I gave hugs to each counselor and let them know how much the trip meant to our children and to our family.  It was a reward in itself when they commented on how well my children behaved.  The children excitedly reported to me on their adventure with the "Community Heroes"  assigned to help them select their presents.  All the way home they laughed and expressed their happiness at the attention, caring, and companionship they had experienced.  My heart swelled with joy.

My daughter shopped with two police officers (one female and one male) who guided her through Wal Mart as she selected the items on her list. My son shopped with a military service member.  Both were treated to Chick-fil-A breakfast and McDonald's for lunch.  To my surprise, they received everything on their list of wishes, including games and toys.  However, the children not only received "things" that day.  They received something far more valuable.  Hope had been restored.  The Community Heroes gave of themselves in ways where I could not, and for that I will be forever grateful.  My children will always have this very special Christmas memory, and I hope it will one day inspire them to do the same for others who are in our situation.  For my part, I too will return the blessings when our circumstances change...and I am certain that changes will happen by the grace of God.

Thank You to all of you readers who gave of yourselves this Christmas.  Whether through time, talents, or treasures, your impact on the lives you touched were positively affected.  You may not always see the results of your efforts, but rest assured the blessing were well received, and you are appreciated.  I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends, and hope everyone will have a wonderful, healthy, and safe New Year!

Friday is Family Fun Night

One recent Friday found our family with very little to spare in the "entertainment" pie slice that is affectionately called "our budget."  The term "affectionate" is used because to me, you actually need to have money to divide it into a "budget" pie.  Our pie is more one where we shave off a sliver of one slice and try to stick it onto the piece of another slice in a valiant attempt to even call what we have a freakin' pie!  Anywho...I assured my family that we are not the only ones in this proverbial boat and we can make the best of this time in our lives by being more creative individuals.  Eyes rolled and heads almost rolled as the result of this bittersweet assessment. 

So I scraped together a few bits of loose change, and threw caution to the wind.  Instead of using the $2.00 bounty I had recovered from our forage of the couch, under beds, and in every one's pockets for a loaf of bread, we trudged to the gas station to purchase a Georgia Lottery Ticket for Friday Night.  Now I realize that this was pretty risky, not at all sensible, and perhaps even foolish.  However, the remarkable thing that happened that evening was one that I will always treasure.  I do not necessary condone regular purchases of Lottery Tickets as a means to one's future retirement fund. However, an occasional ticket to feed one's fantasy and dream can produce a feeling of satisfaction that yields its own rewards, whether financial gain is involved or not. 

Upon returning to our humble apartment, my three children, their father, and myself sat down at the kitchen table for a homemade, cost effective dinner (sans Chicken McNuggets), and let our imaginations run wild.  What would we do if we actually won the lottery that night?  What hopes and dreams would we be able to breathe life into if our winnings were realized?  The whole family was together, talking, laughing, and dreaming in a way that promised to go down in their memories as one of the most fun and enjoyable exchanges of their young lives.  We planned, we made lists, and my husband and I told stories from our own childhoods.  The children listened to us and absorbed all of it!

At the end of the evening, we didn't even stay up late enough to listen to the news with the results of our Lottery Ticket.  That would come later in the week when we returned to the gas station to retrieve the winning numbers.  Turns out we got 2 of the numbers for that night.  Yet I still feel like the $2.00 was well spent for a night of reminiscing, laughter, and family togetherness.  The children are still young now.  But I know that this time will fly by too fast!  I hope I will continue to enjoy these "inexpensive" yet very valuable experiences with them. 

We may never be financially wealthy.  I can only hope that we will be financially stable.  The best thing I can leave my children is a treasury of stories and memories to pass along to their families as they too sit around the dinner table and recall their childhood.

Many blessings to all my readers.  Enjoy your families!

The Value of Playing Outside - A Forgotten Pleasure?

My children can't get enough time in a day to play outside. They love being part of the landscape. I wonder how many children still enjoy the simple pleasures of having the wind on their faces, sand and dirt running through their fingers, and grass beneath their feet.  Technology can be a wonderful tool that opens up a world of resources to us, yet has it also become one of the things that separates our children from the many sensory experiences that were a part of our own upbringing?  What might our children be missing in their repertoire of daily life?  

Here are some of the things I noticed when my three children, ages 9,6, and 4, are turned loose to run and play outside of the confines of the four walls of our apartment: 

1. Climbing trees
2. Running through the grass
3. Skating up a hill
4. Friends helping pick you up when you fall
5. Skipping/Hopping/Jumping
6. Lots of Motion
7. Feeling a breeze on your face
8. Watching the breeze sway the trees; blowing leaves everywhere
9. Twirling in Circles
10. Getting dizzy
11. Shouts and Laughter
12. Breathless wonder as you play chase and hide-n-seek
13. Great friendships formed
14. Creation of Games and Negotiation of Rules
15. Throwing balls, Frisbees, and airplanes
16. Riding bikes, skateboards, scooters
17. Collecting leaves/sticks/rocks/pine cones/acorns

I'm not saying that children shouldn't be allowed to explore technology according to age and developmental level.  I do believe there needs to be a balance.  That balance is the responsibility of parents and those in charge of children's entertainment and after school activities. I hope we still recognize the value of encouraging children to get outside, exercise (also known as active play), and experience the many sensations that occur during those moments of fun. Now that the hot Summer days are turning into a cool,crisp,Autumn,
there will be a whole new array of sensory moments to experience.  Let's not allow our children to miss out on this change of season.  Get out there and have some fun.

Have a wonderful week.  Hope you enjoy some playful outdoor moments with your own family.  I would love to hear from you.  Just drop me a line in the comments section of this blog. 



What's the Fascination with Doors? Another Sebastien Story

My three children and I had the wonderful pleasure of attending a friend's birthday party on Sunday.  It was an amazing, fun event for everyone.  The children were treated to a "Game Truck" parked outside the host's home.  It was filled with age appropriate video games and activities that kept them busy in between rounds of home-made pizza, bottles of refreshing beverages, and a table of snacks set up in the garage.  The "Game Truck" host was very patient and obviously loved his job.  He played games with the kids and supervised their requests in an efficient and professional manner. The adults were able to enjoy each others company while the children played inside an air-conditioned "RV" with large, flat-screens, Wii gaming devices, and a plethora of game choices. 

So what did my 4-Year-Old enjoy the most?  Well, he did spend some time pretending to drive courtesy of a Mario brothers game.  But his absolute favorite activity involved going in and out of the gaming truck.  It required a lot of active muscle movement as he hopped up and down off the step outside of the truck.  I allowed this to go on for a short period of time before I grew anxious.  I was concerned that Sebastien's actions would annoy the Game Truck Operator (GTO), so I informed Sebie that he would need to either go in and play the games or stay outside with me. 

The GTO heard my admonitions and commented that he'd seen many children do the same thing.  There was a natural fascination with that darn door on the Game Truck RV.  Here's the thing...He didn't seem concerned at all.  Throughout the party, GTO guy maintained the same relaxed smile and level patience that he possessed at the beginning of his gig.  I concluded that I was the only one worried about Sebastien's choice of activity and level of energy.  I also decided that if "Game Truck Dude" had no problems with the in and out door situation, then I was the one with the issue.  So, what the heck was my problem, anyway?  I'm sure you won't be surprised by what I am about to share with you, so here's my honest assessment...

The "voices" of my parents echoed through the pre-programmed brain of my childhood.  This is not necessarily a negative thing.  However, an awareness of it's impact on your own parenting experience can be a valuable tool when properly applied.  Here are the "door" issues from my past.  (Some creative license has been employed in the interest of humor.)

Door Issues of Childhood Past:  (a.k.a. The 7 Sins of the Open Door)

1. Shut the door. You're letting in the flies.
2. Shut the door. The AC is on and you're letting the cold air escape.(Summer Time)
3. Shut the door. You'll let your brother/sister escape. (Year Round)
4. Shut the door. The neighbors can see inside and your toys are everywhere.
5. Shut the door. You're letting the cold air in and the heater is on.(Winter Time)
6. Shut the door. You're letting the rain/snow/sleet/hail inside.
7. Shut the door. The "door-to-door ministers of Jesus" are in the neighborhood and they're coming this way.  (Just kidding on this one.  My Dad actually enjoys engaging in conversations with individuals who subscribe to a wide range of religious philosophies.  He is a true connoisseur of religion and is quite well read in this respect.)

What did I learn?  Well, I can't say that I'm totally reformed yet.  A slammed door still makes me jump.  My children often like to shut their doors so the air cannot properly circulate throughout our home.  And I still cringe when they play with their doors when a safety issue is involved.  I am a work in progress, as we all are.  However, I am grateful for moments like the one I encountered on Sunday.  Observing how someone else can be more relaxed allows me to see the opportunites in letting go of the things that just don't matter.  By the way...Sebastien had a blast.  I hope he retains a good memory of his fun day. 

Have a wonderful day.  I would love to hear about your own childhood "voices" and how they have influenced your parenting.  Just drop me a note in the comments section of my blog.

Waiting is a Game - When You are 4-Years-Old

Today Sebastien and I arrived at the Library 15 minutes early.  While waiting for the library to open, Sebastien amused himself in the following ways:

1. Jumped off the bench
2. Found a loose tree branch and promptly became one of the Power Rangers on a quest for justice
3. Dug in the dirt
4. Introduced himself to another child and explained he was a Power Ranger (Justin)
5. Hung on the handicapped railings leading up to the steps on the side entrance
6. Ran around in circles
7. Jumped in the dirt again
8. Attacked a flowering shrub with exuberance
9. Continued to talk to the other children who had arrived for story time
10. Looked up into a small tree where one of the children had climbed up...pondering whether or not there  was room for one more

Time passed very quickly, and Sebastien soon was engrossed in a wonderful story time while Mommy started blogging away.  I love small libraries!  And I love how 4-Year-Olds create happy moments from simple pleasures!

Music Across the Curriculum

I recently attended Open House for my children and was impressed by the creative teaching techniques that are employed in the classroom.  As one impressed parent commented, "We sure didn't do that when I was in the fourth grade."  Thankfully, creativity in the classroom has been embraced by more and more educators to reach a wider range of children.  We know that learning involves our senses, and that children often respond well when lessons are introduced through musically enhanced activities.  As an Infant/Toddler Teacher I had the opportunity to personally observe the benefits of music in a classroom setting.  As a parent who frequently sings and makes up songs for my own children, I know how music can provide auditory cues that allow children to improve their attention to directions and information.  I was impressed by the use of music in my child's classroom.  I hope other teachers may have the opportunity to share this wonderful technique.

The demonstration that occurred in my 4th Grade daughter's classroom during Open House was a stellar example of how one teacher with a vision of excellence elevated the learning experience and created an environment that infused students with an interest in the subject matter.   Moments like these have the potential to create a life long love for education.  The teacher, Ms. Rogers, used popular music that is current and interesting to her students. For example, she rewrote the lyrics for "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars and applied it to learning adjectives.  "Today I feel like studying adjectives.  Ms. Rogers says it will stay in my head.  I'm not going to pick up the phone, so leave a message at the tone.  'Cause today I feel like studying adjectives."  The look on the children's faces as they performed for their parents was charged with energy and pride. 

I was impressed by the demonstration and immediately grateful that my children are enrolled in a school where the Principal supported this teacher's creativity and enthusiastically looked on with pride at both the teacher and the students.  As a child who grew up in a musically enhanced home, I can appreciate the benefits of encouraging music across the curriculum.  I also encourage use of music in my home to provide transition between activities and add humorous elements to otherwise mundane chores.  Waking up in the morning becomes so much more silly when Mom sings to her children.  Giggles and a chorus of, "Please stop singing now Mommy, I'm up!"  are so much more rewarding that yelling at everyone to get up or you'll miss the bus.

There's something magical about music.  Children who might otherwise argue about completing a task might stop to listen when a message comes in the form of a song.  Perhaps future blog entries will feature some of my favorite re-written lyrics set to well know tunes.  Then you too can appreciate my children's comments of, "Please, Mommy.  No more songs." Of course, they're just kidding.  The other night one of my boys asked me to please sing to him to help him go to sleep.  "Please sing those songs from when I was a baby, Mommy."  With pleasure!  Hopefully one day my children will pass on this wonderful gift of music to their children.  In the mean time, I hope that more teachers will continue to use music in the classroom!

Enjoy the rest of your week.  And the next time you hear a tune that sticks in your head, don't be afraid to play with the lyrics and adapt it to your own personal situation.  If it helps you laugh, remember, or become more uplifted, then you'll understand the wonderful power of music.