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Monday, February 3, 2014

10 Reasons to Wonder if Children are Psychic

Children always seems to know....

  1. The exact moment you have finished cleaning up the kitchen.  That's when they will become hungry and ask for something to eat.
  2. When the phone rings and it's an important long distance call.  That's obviously the perfect time to practice their repertoire of vocalizations, comedic timing, and dramatic improve.
  3. When it's your turn to use the bathroom.  That's when they will loudly bang on the door and enthusiastically proclaim that they suddenly have a "potty emergency."
  4. When you have just finished doing the laundry.  That's when they will announce that they absolutely need an item of clothing for school the next day. (A mandatory school uniform for gym class, choir concert, or special event)
  5. A delay in scheduling will have disastrous missing a flight. That's when they will get car sick in the rental car on the way to the their new travel clothes.
  6. When you have just scrubbed the floors.  That's when they will visualize the freshly prepped floor as a canvas for red, fruity, grapey, sticky substances.
  7. Just how long they can wait to use the bathroom on a road trip before we have to come to a screeching halt at a roadside rest stop.  It's more exciting to hold off until the last minute and yell out, "Mommy, I have a potty 911!"
  8. When the vacuum needs a new bag and we're all out of refills.  That's when it's time to crunch up Ritz Crackers, Cookies, or Chips to create pretty designs in the carpet.
  9. When a parent is exhausted.  That's when they will beg to stay up all night and resist bed time.
  10. The exact nanosecond that a parent is standing on the precipice of parental insanity.  That's when they will come to their senses, realize they've pushed you too far, and begin their litany of "I'm sorry Mom. I'll stop bugging my brother/sister. We'll never do that again.  We promise!" 
Then you will wrap them in your arms, kiss their little cheeks, and hug them until they wiggle away from your grasp.  One more reason they are psychic:  They know that no matter what they do, you will love them unconditionally.

Have a Wonderful Week and Good Luck Parenting!